shit i haven’t posted in here in forever. so what’s been going on lately? just took a fat nasty stanky ass shit. guess i need more vegetables huh? got me a costco card now and a car! guess i may as well hit up some of that fiber 1 people keep talking about. i wanna take a good poo! i guess this has turned into a poo blog. whatevers. moving into my new place tomorrow! gonna be one interesting year. i feel like i’m dorming again =p

damn. its been awhile since a posted something! and i actually had something interesting to write about a couple of times but then i forgot. but i think i feel it coming back to me. wait. nope. lost it. next time i swear!

I really don’t know what to make of it anymore. It’s just one big contradiction. I’ve done enough? I guess there’s nothing left to do. But shouldn’t there always be something? Whatever. It’s always so damn depressing. Why can’t I just be happy?

If you opened me up you’d be washed over with just black. Black from rotting. Black from keeping every hurt inside. Black from all the hate and envy, sins and failures. I am a summation of every wrong, every secret, every thought that keeps me down. I am sick. I am rancid. I’m full of ugly. I’m tired of it.

I need to get it out. I need to let go. I need to be better. I can’t handle everything on my own. I need you all to be there for me. And for those of you that aren’t? Fuck it. You’ll never mean anything to me.

Is that how you even spell it? I’m in class right now but I’ve been meaning to write this post the whole day so why not now?

It’s sad you know? How some relationships end up like seran wrap. Weird metaphor? Probably. But it’s like this: So you’re ripping out a sheet and when you try to cut it against the metal it flings back and it gets stuck on itself. And the more you try take it apart it just gets more stuck on itself and you just end up making a big mess so you roll it into a ball and throw it away and try and get a new sheet. Now say you wanted to get that old sheet back. You threw it away into a nasty ass ball, and we’ll say its not as sticky anymore because it’s not as fresh anymore, it’s had some time to sit. Even if you spend all the time to take it apart it will never be a fresh piece, it won’t have the same purpose it had before, and it will always be wrinkled and eh, not the same.

So can you start to feel me out now? I’m going to assume you’re smart enough to figure it out. Don’t be like seran wrap. Not to saying you can only be seran wrap, just certain situations will end up like that.

Maybe I need to break it down some more. Bottom line No seran wrap. I hate that shit. It’s what freezer bags are for, although i don’t quite know what to do with leftover food you can’t finish. So as much as a good piece can save a good meal, don’t let a bad piece go to waste. Don’t let it be seran wrap in the first place. Keep it plastic.

This whole thought process just got me in a whole downer mood and it got me thinking: Figuratively speaking, if you were to open your heart, what would burst out?

Go ahead and think about it for now, I don’t want my answer to spoil your own. I’ll just make it in another post and I’ll try out this auto post feature. Laters!

I’m sorry I haven’t had much to say lately, shit’s been busy, and been busy getting shit. I’ve got two midterms coming up on Thursday and Friday and holy shit am I fucked. I have to find a way to learn all this material ASAP. But really I just want to sleep and time to just pass to a point where life is better. Kinda sounds like the movie Click actually.

Anyways, sorry to everyone I haven’t talked to lately. There’s just been a lot of shit I’ve had to handle, so forgive me please? So yeah, pretty much.